“Irritable! That is how I regularly feel!” And upon checking with my other half, she agreed. Unusual as it may appear we both realised something was not right, separately, on the same day, after 18 months of struggle.
Because of the realization that the consuming outrage that would rise up without any warning was really an indicator that I was reaching my end – I was depressed. What a revelation that was; to understand there was a way out, but that that way out meant admitting my weakness. And then an irony appeared; the instant I confessed my requirement for help, in that moment – that specific moment – hope drew near.
Irritability is a tell-tale sign of depression, particularly in males.
Something would go ‘wrong ‘ and I would flip into a rage, even if I was alone or nobody else spotted; within me I was beside myself with ire. And at the same time part of me was asking, in a desperate state of perplexity, “What’s going on here, Steve?!”
Such fits of wrath were tiring, and though fortuitously there was customarily no observable harm created, there was much religious torment that needed to be reconciled. I was out of control and didn't know how to restore that control.
But the word bad temper – or testy – got me wondering. It struck me in a moment of openness of heart and mind. God used that word to reveal his truth. My irritability with the sign I was depressed. I had fought the best I could, in my own strength, for 18 months. Now was the time to really admit my weakness and find help.
WHY ANGER Is Frequently THE SIGN OF DEPRESSION
Why would we get immoderately angry otherwise, unless our inner world was in flux?
Sometimes anger is all we have left to rail against a world we can neither understand nor work with. That world, for whatever reason or reasons, has given us cause to feel declined in some way. All we have left is outrage. And self-righteousness is the driver, because justice hasn't been served – in the opinion of the depressed attitude.
Hate reveals unhappiness for the difficulties of contempt in our lives we don't have any control of. And it doesn't take a lot to feel out of control.
When we admit our unhappiness , however , because we have realised the role hate is playing, the path to recovery opens up – in spite of the despair inside our circumstance. When there is a need, get professional help to assist you, before it has effects on your life and make you ned up in debt for cultivating bad habits!
Uncharacteristic irritability can be a sign of the unhappiness of depression. Occasionally all we have left is anger; but upon realising our desire for help, to confess that, opens a trail to recovery. If we are truthful about wrath we could very well see the sadness underneath. Such sadness is an invite to be explored, to be validated, and to be wrestled with. As soon as we do these things the door to hope swings ajar and then totally open.
Peggy Chen is a mechanical engineer in Asia overseeing the implementationg and problem-fixing of plants reporting budgeting and suggestions. During her off days she likes to do some travelling and sight seeing. Down to earth and sincere character she is making a good friend and specialist to people around her.
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